Subject to Revision, Update, Deletion and our Imaginations!
Walking through mud puddles
Walking around wrong side of mud puddles
Allowing beetles to battle with paddles in a bottle on a poodle in a puddle (mud)
Kicking rocks or sticks while walking
Standing still in one spot for far, far too long
Falure to shop
Improper ratio of Male to Female
Public Display of Affection
Making M'lady do all the carrying of heavy objects
Double fisting turkey legs
Failure to properly peace-tie shoes
Insufficient display of cleavage
Excessive display of cleavage
Smoking in a non-designated time period
Excessive bustles and or petticoats
Excessive flirting (Ministry Officials exempt)
Failure to respond to excessive flirting by Ministry Officials
Failure to respond to a freindly "Good Day"
Failure to enthusiasticly "Huzzah" after "Hip hip" is spoken
Failure to purchase Christams gifts for Mother
Simultaneous walking and chewing of gum
Excessive high pitched giggling
Hiccuping
Poking sticks at things (especially us!)
Being too tall for the common good
Excessive attractiveness
Wearing brown socks with shorts and a t-shirt
Breathing more than your fair share of air
Excessively loud heartbeat
Excessively loud shirt
Unauthorized singing of dirges or other dreary tunes
Improper use of plastic utensils
Failure to offer Ministry Official part of your funnel cake or caramel apple
Being in the Wrong Place at th Wrong Time
Standing in our way
Failure to recognize the King or Queen
Asking us for directions to the potty (defered arraignments offered)
Being sunburned without proper certification
Failure to cheer at the joust
Buying a sword far, far too big for any practical use
Buying a knife far, far too small for any practical use
Dressing like a goober
Oogling a wench for more than 15 seconds without blinking
Not drinking enough beer
Speeding with a stroller
Telling bad jokes in public
Performing odd dances in public (Morris dancing exempt)
Walking an invisible dog or dragon
Too many feathers in hat
